A melancholy afternoon

This narrative began yesterday afternoon. It was the usual, officemates messing around, making fun of each other and the likes. 
Teasing makes me highly uncomfortable yet its a big part of society so I have this mindset where I just laugh when I’m unsure or feeling awkward. So, they were teasing one of our officemates and it was really normal. I see these people banter everyday so I just laugh as usual. 

Then, today I get this string of text messages from one of my officemates telling me how they didn’t find any of what happened yesterday funny and how offensive it was and felt horrible about being teased. This person was really angry in all of the texts to me and I’m here wondering, “Why is this person texting me and being all angry about everything?” I know I laughed along but what I saw yesterday was normal office banter. Even they tease me all the time and I just ignore it. And this is the first time this person reacted this way, usually this person is part of the group who teases everyone. 

I hope I’ve already established at this point in my blog entries how hopelessly terrible I am at social cues and interactions. I’m good at reading people but emphatizing and symphatizing is really just one (out of many) of my biggest flaws (or deficiencies). I’ve been called insensitive, cold, a bitch and so on. I appear sweet and shy to a lot of people just because most of the time I do not talk (which is because I do not know how to engage in small talk). Some people even gawked at me when I laughed out loud, so surprised were they that I CAN laugh. 

I am just incredibly socially awkward and confused so I don’t know what the hell is the deal with this particular officemate of mine. 

I don’t know what reaction I should have when I meet this person next time… 


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